What is the right relationship?
How do we know when to stay and when to walk away, in both work, platonic and romantic relationships?
It’s hard, but I’ve got one simple question for you: Am I learning anything from this union? If the answer is no, walk away.
Any good relationship (all 3 types above) will teach you something new and positive constantly and that’s when to stay.
It doesn’t have to be awful for something to be bad for you.
(DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal thoughts on the matter…)
If you are in a job that will be pretty clear, you can see if there is no where left for you to go and if that’s the case ask yourself what you would rather be doing career wise and go get it.
Flogging a dead horse is the ideal phrase here; don’t bother wasting your own time. It might be okay, you might have some fun and it might help you sustain an OK life. But are you really HAPPY or just comfortable? If you crave something more you will know…
You will know because you will feel a lack of something and look for it elsewhere. If this is in the form of a romantic relationship, you might be fairly happy, nothing is overly wrong… You have some arguments but that’s normal right? But… you can’t help window shopping, chatting to other potential partners, not cheating though… of-course you wouldn’t do that. Because you are happy, right? “But what if I was with him/her… How would that be? We get on so well… It’s okay we just chat a lot because we are so similar, who knows maybe one day…”
If you are having those thoughts, it’s not OK. You don’t have prolonged on-going thoughts about other people if you are happy in your relationship. Are you trying to be around people you find attractive? Think really hard and be honest, having a crush is one thing, but pursueing it even f you don’t ‘DO’ anything isn’t ok.
But how do you know if there’s better if nothings REALLY wrong?
Don’t ever waste your time, or anyone else’s if there’s on going doubt in your mind. Because in the long run it will end badly and you will realise you should have walked away sooner.
Think about how happy you really could be, honestly don’t stay somewhere just because you have been there a long time…
It’s the same for platonic relationships. If you feel doubt about hanging out with someone, or enjoy their company MOST of the time, but they often bring you anxiety, stress and drama… Rethink what’s more important… the stress of the fun?
It ALL comes back to “what are they teaching you.”
A good Job: You will constantly learn new skills and ways to progress in your career. You will want to get up and go in and be excited by it.
A good relationship: You will constantly learn new ways of not only loving yourself, but others too. You will learn new ways to communicate your feelings and new ways to be both independent AND supportive of others. You will learn to never feel alone, especially in their company…
A good friendship: You will teach each other new skills all the time. Help each other be confident, and happy within yourself. You will help push each other into new experiences and challenges.
A good relationship will always be there for you when times are hard, and not just when they are good. And that again goes for all 3 kinds. A good boss will see your potential even if you are struggling for example… Make sure you are aware of that, because that’s a massive point. Do you share your struggles with them? If you are hiding any feelings again, it’s a bad relationship…
For a friendship/romantic relationship you have to bare in mind if they are really there for you as a person or do they just like the good parts of you? A good GF/BF or Friend will stay in from the club to be your shoulder to cry on. Because the club ain’t going nowhere… But good people are hard to come by. Don’t let a partner favour their ‘fun’ over your sadness… but also any good partnership lets each other be independent – it is a fine line but when you are down and out the side of the line they need to be on is: being there for you. And you deserve that!!
Why do so many people not value themselves enough? Do not lower your standards to have SOMEONE, when there are people there that will think the world of you!
You deserve someone who wakes up and tells you, you are amazing and you tells you to believe in yourself and love yourself. Friends who thank you for your friendship, and jobs that value your hard work.
Don’t stay anywhere because of TIME… I stayed in a relationship an extra year because well.. we had already done 3 years… if I can get to 4 wow that’s a hell of an achievement right!? No… an achievement would have been knowing when it wasn’t right anymore and moving on. Leaving it at a good place, and not disrespecting it by allowing my mind to wonder elsewhere… That’s a whole year of being half happy/kidding myself that I won’t get back!
And don’t get me wrong that year was full of some fun times… so how do you know when to shut it down? Look above… Rip off that plaster and reach for happiness because you are either taking someones job, mate or lover – and yours is still out there… Better still if you have your eyes on the next best thing… go for it because time doesn’t wait for anyone. It might seem hard, harsh, brutal, you don’t want to hurt or disappoint anyone. But trust me when I say you are holding them back from TRUE happiness too, a friend, lover or boss that will TRUELY appreciate them too… You are ultimately being kind…
And one final point to make is; if you stay in this relationship where is it going? Is it headed towards kids and marriage, or work for example; commitment to responsibilities that ultimately don’t make you happy? Do NOT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BRENDA… HAVE KIDS!
Okay that out burst is because so many people get married and have kids, with people that aren’t right for them because they are ‘comfortable’ ultimately those kids grow up around this environment, again as I said above it doesn’t have to be awful … but there’s a lack of full blown self love and passion. This results is families full of anxiety etc… And who is going to leave now they are married with kids, and vaguely, sometimes enjoying it? Not you cos you are a ‘good’ person. Please don’t put people through that, cos if you aren’t totally satisfied it will rub off on them… (this is just one example for the sake of my point).
SAME goes for Co-workers, especially if they are below you and you are hating life being their boss… GO GET A JOB YOU LIKE! Don’t let it get to that point is all I’m saying…
Anyway the point of this is to help you realise before it gets to these points. I want you to take the positives from this and realise the good relationships in your life and value them!
The BEST thing I ever did was realise what’s serving me and learn to make choices now rather than waiting and wasting everyones time. Ultimately this means more happiness for everyone and it’s great!
I hope that helps someone, even a bit! Don’t waste time…
Here’s some pics of me and my good friend Skai a great relationship in my life!
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